Eating only raw food is like saying you’re better than fire.
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
Shell collections are cool, unless it’s a pistachio shell collection. I had one of those. #why
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When you’re hungry, everything looks like an enemy. #stomachfacts #hungargames
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If the NYC heat today were a super villain, his powers of making everyone really pissed and tired would be unstoppable. #globalwarming #heat
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Today we declare our independence from no fireworks. #July4th
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I want a banana funeral; I figure, I’m already dead, why not cover the place in fruit?
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I started drinking lots of tea, because everyone in new york needs a habit.
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It’s Wormules! All the strength of Hercules, none of the limbs! Watch him try to be useful.
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It’s been said before, so I won’t say it again.
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Fun experiment; go to the gym and lock someone else’s locker.
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Should you even bother reading an article on SEO if it’s not the top google result?
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In the land of the mouse, only the squeak survive
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If there’s one thing I’ve learned about birds, it’s that their omens. Omens of poop. #birds #poop #omens
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New meal: scrunch. It’s between breakfast and lunch when you have no time. #idea
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NYC #subways are tunnels of love for rats.
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I want to start a spam company that emails people about how they can shrink their penis, and see if anyone notices.
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