Chris DeLuca

While sorting through old papers, I found a copy of the first cover letter I wrote out of collage.

Auto-generated description: A humorous letter requests a job to afford duct tape for living in a cardboard box, with a resume enclosed.

I was trying to score a writing gig, and knew absolutely nothing about anything. I walked around NYC in a suit and handed out this cover letter and a resume with can’t-not-hire credits like, “wrote for my collage paper” to doormen at The Daily Show and Late Night and places like that. I tried to mask my inexperience with a funny cover letter, which, like Carmex on a blister, only servered to highlight it.

The whole thing was, of course, phenomenally ineffective. On the plus side, only several people openly laughed in my face.

The cover letter did give me a chuckle now almost twenty years later, so I’ll take that as a personal win.

Here’s the letter transcribed in its entirety.

To Whom It May Concern:

Please give me a job. I have recently graduated college with an English Degree, and am currently living in a cardboard box. I would like to purchase some duct tape to waterproof said cardboard box, but in today’s unstable economy it runs as high as $4.00, which is well outside my budget. If you could give me a position paying between twenty and thirty dollars a year, it would really help me out. Obviously, I would prefer a job paying at least $100,000.00 a tear, as I could by a lifetime supply of duct tape. Please respond as soon as possible, as the box is getting rather mushy.

Enclosed is my resume. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Christopher DeLuca

Auto-generated description: A spiral notebook page filled with various black ink doodles, including abstract shapes, faces, and text, rests on a wooden floor with other notebooks underneath.

Found some old doodles while cleaning out old notebooks.

A cute kitty sitting on a blanket with tigers on it.

Hat on a hat? Bad. Cat on a cat? The best. 🐱

After being very sick for almost two weeks (and still on a shaky recovery), I’ve started some winter cleaning. I love throwing things out. 🗑️

Finished reading: Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark 📚

Currently reading: Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark 📚

The Frighteners, 1996

Oh, so you wanted to get throat punched by lovable murder ghost lore? Stink your neck through this movie.

The Frighteners, 1996

Oh, so you wanted to get throat punched by lovable murder ghost lore? Stink your neck through this movie.

Finished reading: Outrageous by Kliph Nesteroff 📚

Batman Returns, 1992

Watched on Monday December 23, 2024.

Batman Returns, 1992

Watched on Monday December 23, 2024.

Love rob reich The 10 Biggest Myths About Our Economy.

We are deep into cat cuddle season. 🐱

Auto-generated description: A tortoiseshell cat is peacefully sleeping while nestled against a person’s arm.

Auto-generated description: A black and white photo shows a cat peacefully resting its head on a person’s leg, next to patterned pillows.

Auto-generated description: A cat is nestled under a cozy blanket, looking to the side.

Auto-generated description: A tortoiseshell cat is lounging on a person’s arm on a bed with patterned blankets.

Sunning butt to butt. 🐈🐈‍⬛

Two cats, one tortie one tuxedo, sitting on top of a red couch, droopy eyes, in a big sun spot, loafing with their butts up against each other.

Jedda posted a collection of quotes I really liked.

This one in particular is speaking to me right now.

“A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will help make the other person be the best version of themselves.” -Lewis Howes

I am hosting a copy of My Immortal, the infamous fanfic, over at myimmortalrehost.com. I have more improvements planned, and I’ll write more about it in depth, but if anyone has initial feedback I’d love to hear it.

I may like my code editor a lot. #neovim