“Last one there is a rotten egg!” - A witch #quotes
Original post: twitter.com/chrisjohn…
Security is important, @TDBank_US. We’d like it if you supported two factor auth. t.co/rby6WYeTn… #SupportTwoFactorAuth
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“You have to make an agreement with me. See the last two episodes of Game of Thrones.” - Guy who just wasted an agreement. #quotes
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“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself! That, and Nazis.” - why FDR isn’t quoted fully. #correctinghistory
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Who framed roger rabbit? Watch the movie and find out! #adsfromtwentyyearsago
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If fortune can smile, can it also frown? Was Brazil’s 7 - 1 loss fate wiggling it’s hands in its ears and sticking out its tongue? #worldcup
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If luck is a lady, is fate a government employee?
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Galphaxor the mutilator is rising in your third house. Fortune smiles upon you. #astrologywishes
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I want to see the astrology charts when aliens appear in the sky. #astrologywishes
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I’ve been playing Shadowrun: Returns. Instead of ‘Hell yeah’, they say, ‘Whiz yeah’, as if in the future, hell is replaced by peeing.
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Stay on top of my improv team Call Your Mom’s shows by joining the mailing list! t.co/Oxg8MljBY… #improv #ucb
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At the museum of the moving image waiting to see 2001: A Space Odyssey in 70mm!
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At the museum of the moving image waiting to see 2001 in 70mm!
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Eating only raw food is like saying you’re better than fire.
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Shell collections are cool, unless it’s a pistachio shell collection. I had one of those. #why
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When you’re hungry, everything looks like an enemy. #stomachfacts #hungargames
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If the NYC heat today were a super villain, his powers of making everyone really pissed and tired would be unstoppable. #globalwarming #heat
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Today we declare our independence from no fireworks. #July4th
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If anyone wants to check if they have a pee fetish, go see Dance of Reality. #movie #imagestuckinhead #somanyquestions
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Call Your Mom Show July 1st @ 9pm - t.co/QnnQ3MwD9…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
I had an amazing time at #DCM16
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Everybody, get in here! #DCMPickupLines
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RT @GeorgeTakei: Some Sunday morning graffiti. t.co/aYjN7gIKy…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
D&DCM is coming, today at 7am at UCBEast. How? #DCM16 t.co/SbOSGQ2yT…
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Who the fuck lives with green lantern? #dcm16 t.co/OYRxF7lP5…
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