The narrative was thin and boring, which was also my nickname in collage.

A foggy day in lower Manhattan.

Watched on Saturday January 18, 2025.

Watched on Saturday January 18, 2025.

I now know less about Bob Dylan.

I now know less about Bob Dylan.

As I’ve been told in no uncertain terms, this movie exists only in the present.

As I’ve been told in no uncertain terms, this movie exists only in the present.

Cat hat. 🎩 🐈‍⬛

Kitty cuddle season continues. 🐱

There’s terror spilling over the brim of this galaxy. Alien meets Jacob’s ladder. Pre Freddy Kruger Robert Englund fights himself. The mom from twin peaks is a crazed captain. A man says in all seriousness, “I live and die by the crystals”. The special effects are even pretty good for the budget. In short, Roger Corman really did a movie.

There’s terror spilling over the brim of this galaxy. Alien meets Jacob’s ladder. Pre Freddy Kruger Robert Englund fights himself. The mom from twin peaks is a crazed captain. A man says in all seriousness, “I live and die by the crystals”. The special effects are even pretty good for the budget. In short, Roger Corman really did a movie.

What a bunch of silly gooses.

What a bunch of silly gooses.

Proof that horror movies were about trauma before 2010. Also Santa will kick your fucking ass.

Proof that horror movies were about trauma before 2010. Also Santa will kick your fucking ass.

Come for the sumptuous dark visuals, stay for the blood drinking sounds.

Come for the sumptuous dark visuals, stay for the blood drinking sounds.

Gotta go faster.

Gotta go faster.

Gotta go fast.

Gotta go fast.

…but is it, tho?

…but is it, tho?

While sorting through old papers, I found a copy of the first cover letter I wrote out of collage.

I was trying to score a writing gig, and knew absolutely nothing about anything. I walked around NYC in a suit and handed out this cover letter and a resume with can’t-not-hire credits like, “wrote for my collage paper” to doormen at The Daily Show and Late Night and places like that. I tried to mask my inexperience with a funny cover letter, which, like Carmex on a blister, only servered to highlight it.

The whole thing was, of course, phenomenally ineffective. On the plus side, only several people openly laughed in my face.

The cover letter did give me a chuckle now almost twenty years later, so I’ll take that as a personal win.

Here’s the letter transcribed in its entirety.

To Whom It May Concern:

Please give me a job. I have recently graduated college with an English Degree, and am currently living in a cardboard box. I would like to purchase some duct tape to waterproof said cardboard box, but in today’s unstable economy it runs as high as $4.00, which is well outside my budget. If you could give me a position paying between twenty and thirty dollars a year, it would really help me out. Obviously, I would prefer a job paying at least $100,000.00 a tear, as I could by a lifetime supply of duct tape. Please respond as soon as possible, as the box is getting rather mushy.

Enclosed is my resume. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Christopher DeLuca