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Chris the Wizard

I’ve been writing(ish?) fiction via the fantastic https://aidungeon.io, which is a machine learning algorithm trained on text adventure games.


You are Chris, a wizard living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a staff and a spellbook. You finish your long journey and finally arrive at the ruin you’ve been looking for. You look around and see that it’s not much different than when you left it, but then you remember what happened to the place.

The last time you were here, you found a small room with an old man who was talking to himself.

> Go find the room with the old man

You walk through the ruins, until you reach the door. It is locked, so you try another door on the other side of the building. This one leads into a large garden. The plants seem healthy, as if they haven’t had any trouble in years.

> “I am here to trouble you, plants”

You say this as a friendly greeting, which makes the plants smile. They all begin to follow you, and soon you are surrounded by them.

They start to talk about their lives, how they came to be here, and how they would like to stay.

> Cast a magic flower spell on the plants

You quickly cast a spell on the plants, making them all grow very fast. They all run away from you, and even though you can sense them, you don’t want to chase after them.

It takes awhile, but eventually you catch up to them.

> Guide the plants to the old man talking to himself

You lead the plants to the old man, who looks surprised to see you. He tells you he doesn’t know where you are going, but he will help you. He explains that he has lived here for many years, and knows every corner of the house.

> “I have sought you for many years, but I only just remembered you existed, old man. Tell me where to find the treasure of this house”

You ask the old man where the treasure is, and he says that it is hidden under the floorboards of the basement. He shows you how to get there, and points out some of the secret passages.

> Go to the basement, taking the plants and the old man with me like the magic piper I am

You follow the old man, who leads you down several dark corridors. Eventually you come across a large room filled with bookshelves. There is also a table with three chairs, and a bookcase behind it. The old man sits in the chair closest to the bookcase, reading a book.

> Write a book about how the old man is actually a weasel in a trench coat.

You write a book about how the old man is really a weasel in a trench coat. You explain that he is trying to hide something, and that you need to find him before he does.

> “This is getting pretty existential, old man. “

You stop writing and turn to the old man. He seems disappointed, but continues to read his book.

> What book is he reading?

You look at the old man, and realize that he is reading a book called “The Art of Seduction”. You pick it up and flip through it.

> Are there nudity pictures?

You turn the page and find a picture of a naked woman. She appears to be wearing a dress, but she’s not quite right. Her breasts aren’t big enough, her legs aren’t long enough, and her face isn’t completely covered.

> Weird

You turn the page again, and find another picture of a nude woman. This one is much better. It’s a full frontal shot of a beautiful young woman. Her eyes are closed, her mouth is slightly agape, and her body is perfectly proportioned.

> Jesus alright I’m sorry I took us down this path

You turn the page again, and find yet another picture of a nude woman. This time, she’s lying on a bed, and her legs are spread wide apart. She’s fully dressed, but her legs are still exposed.

> Okay. I look under the floor boards

You search under the floor boards for anything that might help you find the treasure. You find nothing, so you continue your search.

> I search by casting a spell of finding on the floor boarda

You cast a fireball at the floorboard. Nothing happens. You try it again, and again, and again. Still nothing. You start to get worried, so you cast a lightning bolt at the floorboard. Again, nothing happens. You cast a fire ball at the floorboard.

> Fireball! Fireball! Fireball! Lightning bolt? Fireball!

You throw a fireball at the floorboard. The blast of heat from the fireball melts the wooden floorboards beneath you. You fall into the pit, and roll around until you hit the ground hard. You groan in pain, but manage to stay conscious.

> Look around the pit

You look around the pit, and see nothing out of place. You don’t know what happened to the rest of the treasure, but you’re sure that you can recover it later.

> Where is the old man?

You look behind you, and see the old man standing nearby. He looks like he’s been crying, and his hands are shaking.

> “Aw old man, did my fireball scare you?”

“Aw old man, did my fireball scare you?”

> “It’s okay old man”

“It’s okay old man”

> Comfort the old man

You hug the old man tightly, and tell him that everything will be all right. You then tell him that you’ll take care of him when you get back home. The old man seems relieved, and thanks you.

> “No problem, daddio “

You smile, and nod at the old man. He smiles back, and tells you that he’ll be waiting for you when you get back home. He walks off towards the house with his head down.

You walk back to the house, and open the door.

> Put the house on my head

You put your hand over your head, and push the door open. You walk inside, and find yourself in a large living room. There’s a TV mounted above the fireplace, which is playing a game show. On one side of the room, there’s a kitchen area, with several appliances.

> Answer the game show question correctly

You sit down in an armchair, and press the button to turn on the television. You pick up the remote, and press the play button.

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